Not too long ago while channel surfing, I came across something more frightening than my Aunt Darla that shaves off her eyebrows and then draws them back on every morning at 8 am with a palsy shake and a martini. More shocking than anything Paris Hilton will do over the next few years, I think. What could be worse you ask? How about this: a 15 year-old girl screaming at her cowering parents about her $250-thousand sweet 16 party where 50 cent will sing and she'll get 2 cars she can't even drive yet. The mother was busy buying her a dress more expensive than a year's worth of mortgages and in return this grateful young girl was screaming at her mother that if everything isn't perfect for this party she will hate her for life. Yup, that's entertainment folks.
Pity the man that marries this screwed up chick in a couple years. Now the first thing we normally do is blame the parents. Screwed up parents equal screwed up kids, right? I usually don't buy into that theory. But in this case, someone should take those two new cars and run them both over. In a world filled with more reality than any of us ever knew existed, how much reality is too much?
Is it any wonder why 3/4 of the world's peolpe hate us for our over indulgent, natural resource sucking, global warming causing, spoiled lame asses? When I watch shows like this, I hate us. Who decided this should ever be broadcast on television? Well in retaliation, I've come up with a few new reality shows I'd like to see. I'm not sure how they'll do in the ratings, but I'm definitely sure they'll make me feel better.
First, how about "Beating Celebrities with Sticks?" I mean who doesn't want to take a swing at Paris Hilton? Tom Cruise? Lindsay Lohan? What could feel better than wailing a branch at some spoiled, whiny, over paid, talentless know-it-all celebrity?
Or what about "I'm Anorexic and I'm Proud?" This is a great show for people starving for attention. You know all those people that feel skinny is their greatest accomplishment in life? If this is true, I have a whole country of accomplished Ethiopians we can feature. Look at me, I'm a size 2! Well look at me, I'm a size 22 and pass the donuts.
How about "Catch Me if You Can?" In this show, we get to strip away all the legal crap and let the people vote for who's guilty and who isn't. We can start with O.J. Simpson and Michael Jackson. In this show, circumstantial evidence counts, like we have a bloody glove, a footprint, dead bodies, a motive and he's running. Guilty? You betcha. Or when a grown man admits "I sleep with young boys" and a jury says well, that's okay we're quite sure it's purely platonic. In my show, there's a bonus round where we get to hunt down, sequester (tie-up) and beat jury members that let the guilty run free. I'm selling this one to FOX.
Another show for Fox, "Who Wants To Marry A Crack Whore?" To hell with millionaires, they're just too complicated. Marry a crack whore and you'll always know where you stand. Just imagine the fun we could have with the elimination rounds.
Finally, my own personal favorite, "Shock a Network Executive." In this show, we get to blast network executives with varying volts of electricity for bringing the most begnin, banal, garbage to the airwaves. Let's start with "The Simple Life", for simple-tons, "Celebrity Fit Club", otherwise known as let's take a gaggle of fat washed-up celebrities and try to kill them by making them run up mountains, and "America's Next Top Model," where none of the winners actually become top models and we get to watch tall beautiful women that have the world by the balls complain about the bump on their nose.
So in a world where the only true reality is the one we make for ourselves, just how much reality is too much?
Posts
5 comments:
Reality TV has put good actors...people that have struggled to learn their craft and weather the storms of trying to make it in Hollywood out of work. Reality TV needs to go back under the rock it came out from under.
a little reality is entertaining..too much reality is called life...give me back my fantasies!
I'll admit, i used to be a slave to reality TV... but that was before they started filming teenagers living on ocean front property whose biggest worry was what to wear to the Friday night bonfire. Honestly, i was perfectly happy watching the group of 7 strangers duke it out over whose turn it was clean the bathroom- because they weren't only strangers to each other, they were strangers to us as well. Now everyone who appears on the cover of Tiger Beat has their own darn show! First it was Jessica and Nick, then Nicole and Paris, even the other Simpson got her own gig. and don't get me started on the whole Britany and Kevin tragedy. Reality has gone way downhill, however, i still indulge in American Idol and yes, America's Next Top Model... (c'mon, what's better than 13 girls with raging insecurities and hormones living together and fighting over the telephone? and they're not all nobodies... after all, the very first one ended up marrying Peter Brady, hehe)... it's sad really what we find entertaining, and even more sad that networks are making a crap-ton of money off humiliating and mocking nearly every kind of sterotype b/c they're not paying anybody to write a decent script. i almost feel dumber after watching TV. But my question is, why are we so enthralled with watching people's lives fall apart? i thought the whole Gladiator thing was barbaric, but watching 20 attractive, self sufficient women vie for one man's attention and a harry winston ring is almost as gruesome as watching lions tear innocent men apart.
my vote is to go back to the basics of reality- forget the teens who are so spoiled you want to shove them in a Goodwill store and lock em' in forver, forget the used up celebs and their freeloading spawn, and defintely forget anything to do with P. Diddy ...just don't touch top model :)
In an age where only the best will do, it seems that achieving that level of "best" is often
unobtainable and remains a continually moving target. We find ourselves working harder and longer to bring a sense of status to our lives. This clouds our view of what ought to be important in life, happiness, and that is "reality".
"Reality" is probably the greatest misnomer ever applied in this case.
To my mind, when the bar gets too low ya step over it rather than get down there and crawl under it.
That's why my TV came with an "off" button :-)
Good read tho' ma'am!
Post a Comment